Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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