Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Randomize
