just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
