I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
