we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
