I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
