On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
