god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
