We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
