my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize