A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
you didnt know i had herpes?
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize