dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
