Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
