perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
