You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
