a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
