i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
