I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
