you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
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