your parents love me but you hate me
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Randomize
