At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize