i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
