Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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