I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
