In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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