***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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