ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
