I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
it glows. i had to have it.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Randomize
