i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
