Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
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