I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
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