addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
