yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Randomize
