I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
