Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
