idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
