After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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