Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
