So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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