you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
