I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
