My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
