Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I deserve this hangover.
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