she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
