Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
