one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
