This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
