I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
