I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
