I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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