Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
then he tried to convert me to islam
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Randomize
