he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize
