she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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