I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
