She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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