i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
