I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
