i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
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